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As i was casually flicking between sky channels (early last year) I stumbled upon BBC 2 coverage of a folk festival where a very respectable tv presenter raved on and on about the next act due to appear on stage.. stating that they were the 'best thing to happen to folk in a long long time'!

Well.. that boast certainly perked up my ears, as I was now expecting to hear something as brilliant and as unique as say.. 'Mumford & Sons'?
Looking back.. and to think I was so close to changing channel... I'm certainly glad that I didn't.

The band was full of good players and fair play to them but the female lead singer was quite husky and grating to listen to.
She then sang one of the worst lyrics I've ever heard.
The lyric to this chorus has stayed with me till now and will probably never leave me!

Remember.. the song is a kinda love song to an old flame and obviously her ex lover didn't turn to her when he/she needed help?

The lyric in question was.... 'I'M THE RIP CORD YOU DID'NT PULL'!


Even my 11year old burst out laughing when he heard it!

The song was meant to be a serious sad song and in no way humorous!


ANYBODY ELSE HEARD A BAD LYRIC... THEN PLEASE.. DO SHARE IT WITH US HERE?


Go on... Give us a laugh!





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Edited by sthum (20/11/11 07:53 PM)

"If I was a sculptor, but then again.....no"
I think that Elton was simply dictating this line to a scribe of some description got to "but then again" and then decided "actually...no, next line!"

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"Insert witty snippet about my music" - http://soundcloud.com/realisms/sets/realisms-e-p/

When James Blunt first appeared on 'Later with Jules' I'd never heard of him. Thought he had a slightly odd voice but was rather enjoying 'Goodbye my lover'.

He was giving it some and the emotion was pouring out of him. I believed the heartbreak he was suffering. And then came the line

'I know you well, I know your smell'.

Eye wateringly bad, bad lyric. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLke1hx6Viw a minute in if you must.

Instantly translated by me into 'You broke my heart, I sniffed your.....' which I think would have worked a lot better in the general ethos of this utterly stinky song.

Many years ago now, the late lamented Kenny Everett ran a crap records chart on London's capital radio...I remember a country song including the lyric

"you done stomped on my aorta, like you didn't oughtta.."

But no idea who...

Des'ree - Life.

Easily the worst lyric ever written IMO. Strewth, even if the desperate rhymes and pathetic chorus weren't enough, the singer even claims she keeps a rabbit's TAIL for luck. Yeeeeeeeah.....

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An Eagle for an Emperor, A Kestrel for a Knave.

'Yes-ter-day was Thurs-day, Thurs-day. To day it is Fri-day, Fri-day. Tomorrow is Sat-ur-day, and Sun-day, comes af-ter-wards.'

These are genuine lyrics. Not a joke.

Need I say anymore? For any lyric you can think of, this song will have one worst. Not least the HORRENDOUS backing vocals if you listen carefully, and the way getting is pronounced gittin.

If you haven't seen this before;

1. Where have you been?
2. Prepare yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0

Genuinely hurts me inside a bit when I hear it. I don't say that as a joke, really do feel saddened. Cheesy pop made to sell records has been around for yonks in some form, but this has ZERO substance. Nothing.

There's no bathroom, and there is no sink,
The water out the tap is very hard to drink,
Very hard to drink.

Tomorrow, Silverchair

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Not much in life worth running for. Or from.

I have still yet to hear anything worse than Snap's all time cringeworthy lyric of:

"I'm as serious as Cancer, When I say Rhythm is a dancer"

I still can't believe they got away with that when Frankie GTH got banned for Relax





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MBP 17", PC 100(Nubus Protools) Motu 896, X-Station, Logic9, Reason6, Korg legacy, ACE, Alchemy, Emax II, E-Synth, Evolver MEK, Waldorf Pulse and Blofeld, AS Telemark, AS Leipzig-S

My dad was in a band in the 60s and spent the decades afterwards repeatedly denying that it was him that came up with the line 'the pain is sore'

As for the big bands - worst lyrics have got to be coldplay. Book of clichés and a rhyming dictionary - job done...

Quote Dynamic Mike:

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There's no bathroom, and there is no sink,
The water out the tap is very hard to drink,
Very hard to drink.

Tomorrow, Silverchair

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I always thought the last line was 'hot to drink'. Not sure which is worse... A song about drinking from the hot tap, or about calcium in the water supply?

The inane repetition of anything by Scouting for Girls does my head in.

She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
She's so lovely
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know

House of Pain - Jump around. I particularly remember "a terminator like Arnold Schwartzenegger, trying to play out like as if my name was Sega" (with 'Sega' pronounced 'Segger'). Reading the lyrics just now though, I realise I'd forgotten how bad the whole song was, so it's hard to pick a worst line from the rest that I'd mercifully blotted from my memory.

Of course, there's always composers who set up singers with unfortunate phrasing.

"When I am laid, am lai-ai-ai-aid - in earth". Possibly excusable, given that "laid" might not have had that meaning at Purcell's time.

But there's no excuse for "For we like sheep, for we like sheep, for we like sheep have gone astray", with an entire choir singing multiple parts of "for we like sheep". There's no way I could sing that myself without feeling the need to make baa-ing noises occasionally. (And I *really* feel sorry for any Welsh or Kiwi choirs doing it anywhere other than home turf...)

Yes, I seem to remember that the Newman text for Elgar's Dream of Gerontius has some pretty questionable lines in too.

Quote grab:

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But there's no excuse for "For we like sheep, for we like sheep, for we like sheep have gone astray", with an entire choir singing multiple parts of "for we like sheep". There's no way I could sing that myself without feeling the need to make baa-ing noises occasionally. (And I *really* feel sorry for any Welsh or Kiwi choirs doing it anywhere other than home turf...)

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You absoutely correct. Sang this in the school choir. We drove the music teacher to distraction with the ovine impersonations.

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* Soundcloud *
* Bandcamp *

See the tree, how big it's grown,
but friend, it hasn't been too long, it wasn't big.
I laughed at her and she got mad,
the first day that she planted it was just a twig.

Honey by Bobby Goldsboro

ick

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How appropriate, you fight like a cow.

Ed sheeran- And if your DVD breaks today
You should've got a VCR
Because I've never owned a blue ray, true say

I know that I must do what's right
As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serangetti

from Africa by Toto

has to be one of the worst scanning lines of all time.

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Daniel Davis
Edinburgh Recording Studio Windmill Sound

This is an old 'un:

Cold December wind
Have I really sinned
Good Lord needs to show me I'm a man
Making love's beginned

the song is Good Lord Knows by Quatermass back in, it must be, 1969-70. The rest of the song is nearly as bad. Good instrumental band but hopeless lyricist.

CC

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Put the fun back into dysfunctional.
Mr Punch's Studio

The Monkees from Daydream Believer:
"My shaving razor's cold, and it stings...". Awful.

I think the winner, though, has to be Def Leppard's "I suppose a rock's out of the question" from "Let's Get Rocked".

Tinie Tempah - Pass Out

various gems including but not limited to "I got so many clothes I keep some in my aunt's house".

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hourglass | random thoughts | doubledotdash!? collective

'Slowly walking down the hall, Faster than a cannonball' occurs to me quite strongly.

I can think of two contenders to mind.

Black Eyed Peas 'My Humps'. I was going to pick out a particular lyric which was garbage but it's all garbage.

The second contender is possibly a controversial one.

From a song which is terrible titled

'The End'

'Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake...he's old, and his skin is cold'

and
'The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and we'll do the rest'

These lyrics are so bad, whoever wrote them and the band will be forgotten about as they were so terrible.... Nope, they were Jim Morrison/The Doors who many years on are still well known (which I don't think many of the other contenders in this thread will be...)

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http://soundcloud.com/earwighoney

Quote caveman82:

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'The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and we'll do the rest'

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I take that as a quote in those lyrics of something banal.
Riding the snake I believe is something about being helped through a bad acid trip.
Seems generally reasonable to me given the shtick, although I give you that old and cold could be reconsidered, and there's some mileagae in the sixth form poetryness of Morrison road.

That was my contravertion.

Quote caveman82:

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These lyrics are so bad, whoever wrote them and the band will be forgotten about as they were so terrible.... Nope, they were Jim Morrison/The Doors who many years on are still well known (which I don't think many of the other contenders in this thread will be...)

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It's a state of mind thing. I first heard that song in 1969 at the age of 18 while under the influence of, shall we say, certain herbs, in a very dimly lit room in (for some reason) Bradford. To this day if I hear The End it takes me back to the room and even the state of mind.

Otherwise I'd probably agree with you.

CC

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Put the fun back into dysfunctional.
Mr Punch's Studio

" Only time will tell if we stand the test of time "
Van Halen - Why Can't This Be Love

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Music is it's own reward .

"I'm feeling supersonic. Give me gin and tonic".

Quote JMulvale:

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Honey by Bobby Goldsboro

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If it were most bizarre, most odd and most perverse song, it'd definitely be "Summer the first time" by Bobby. Great piano relief, but a mentally odd song.

"Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti" - Africa, Toto.

It's the phrasing of "Se-ren-get-eeeee" that drives me mental!!

This one by Cast, has always got right on my tit-ends:

"I guess I'm alright, guess I'm alright.
I guess I'm doing fine, guess I'm doing fine,
D'you think I miss you? d'you think I care?
D'you think I'll lie here and die?
You never even tried,you never even tried."

It's banal, unimaginitive, wishy-washy, and it doesn't scan or rhyme.

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Battle flags are flown at the feet of a garden gnome.

any song which uses the following detritus:

"I'm gonna put on my dancing shoes"

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I'm All Ears.

a never again to be repeated lyric from a welsh metal band with an environmental conscience back in the early 90's


"this world of ours is in a state that could be beaten by an empty milk crate. "


no, i will not divulge any more details..... i get a headache just remembering THAT one....

Clearly, this:


"Say your prayers little one
Don't forget my son
To include everyone
I tuck you in
Warm within
Keep you free from sin
'Til the sandman he comes

Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to never never-land

Something's wrong, shut the light
Heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren't of snow white
Dreams of war
Dreams of lies
Dreams of dragons fire
And of things that will bite, yeah

Sleep with one eye open
Grippin' your pillow tight
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to never never-land

(Whisper)
Now I lay me down to sleep (x2)
Pray the lord my soul to keep (x2)
And if I die before I wake (x2)
Pray the lord my soul to take (x2)

Hush little baby don't say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
It's just the beast under your bed
In your closet in your head

Exit light
Enter night
Grain of sand

Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to never never-land

We're off to never never-land

Take my hand
We're off to never never-land
Take my hand
We're off to never never-land

We're off to never never-land"

Also, pretty much anything Chris Martin's ever written. He's just awful.

But my favourite all-time awful lyric is this - from my own band, Tate! (it's track 5 on the list - "Spend some time away" - you've really got to hear the phrasing to appreciate the magnificence). The lyric is:

"And if you give me half a chance
I'd take you down to France...

...for a holiday"

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"We knocked on the doors of Hell's darker chambers..." But no-one answered, so we went to the pub instead.

Ooh - and "Nikita" by Elton John...

"...with eyes that looked like ice on fire..."

AAAAAAAAARRRRGGHHH!!!

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"We knocked on the doors of Hell's darker chambers..." But no-one answered, so we went to the pub instead.

Sandman's not that bad. just listen to "The View"!

"I am the tablet!!!"

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hourglass | random thoughts | doubledotdash!? collective

Quote onesecondglance:

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Sandman's not that bad. just listen to "The View"!

"I am the tablet!!!"

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Um, are you sure?

"Heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren't of snow white
Dreams of war
Dreams of lies
Dreams of dragons fire
And of things that will bite, yeah "

Although, yeah, "I am the tablet" is pretty exceptional!

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"We knocked on the doors of Hell's darker chambers..." But no-one answered, so we went to the pub instead.

Bermuda Triangle
It makes people disappear
Bermuda Triangle
Don't go too near

Not exactly answering the question, but here are a few annoying lines, from artists/songs that are actually quite good.


"He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by Nabokov"

…Sting/The Police


"Why do I find it hard to write the next line?"

… Gary Kemp/Spandau Ballet


"And that's a good line to take it to the bridge."

…Robbie Williams and Guy Chambers

Marcus

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You live. You learn.

Quote Phil Reynolds:

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Quote onesecondglance:

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Sandman's not that bad. just listen to "The View"!

"I am the tablet!!!"

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Um, are you sure?

"Heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren't of snow white
Dreams of war
Dreams of lies
Dreams of dragons fire
And of things that will bite, yeah "

Although, yeah, "I am the tablet" is pretty exceptional!

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thing with Metallica is that you have to have to judge the canon as a whole. so when you have such joys as "Do you choose what I choose? / More alternatives / Energy derives from both the plus and negative" from Eye Of The Beholder, or the strange obsession with fitting "leather" into as many lyrics as possible on Kill 'Em All (cf "The leather armies have prevailed" on Phantom Lord, "... on leather steeds they ride" from The Four Horsemen, etc.) then such absurdities as Sandman pale in comparison

i'm a lifelong 'tallica fan so i've heard some of their absolute worst!

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hourglass | random thoughts | doubledotdash!? collective

Quote Richard Graham:

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This one by Cast, has always got right on my tit-ends:

"I guess I'm alright, guess I'm alright.
I guess I'm doing fine, guess I'm doing fine,
D'you think I miss you? d'you think I care?
D'you think I'll lie here and die?
You never even tried,you never even tried."

It's banal, unimaginitive, wishy-washy, and it doesn't scan or rhyme.

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yup.

plus anything from boys Gallagher....

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Battenburg to the power of 20 - said by Richie Royale in a moment of genius. 4pm. Wed 16th Nov 2011. Remember where you were....

Quote caveman82:

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'The End'

'Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake is long, seven miles
Ride the snake...he's old, and his skin is cold'

and
'The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and we'll do the rest'

These lyrics are so bad, whoever wrote them and the band will be forgotten about as they were so terrible.... Nope, they were Jim Morrison/The Doors who many years on are still well known (which I don't think many of the other contenders in this thread will be...)

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time and place matters. Great lyrics for the time, the place and the feeling of the day.... wasteful, young, nihilistic. Simplicity does work. Just as WHO performs a song matters, so does who sings a lyric. Morrison makes those words WORK.