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Jennifer Jones
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Loc: Cambridge, UK
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #992303 - 11/06/12 12:28 PM
I don't believe that other people should try and tell you what to do as that's up to you, and if you've decided to wait until you're a certain age before seeking relationships then that's your call and good luck to you! However you came on here asking for opinions, so here's mine... If an opportunity appears in your life that has the potential to add value if you take it, but on the flip side has the potential to not work out in which case it will just leave you back where you started, then it's worth taking. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain. As Tennyson said, "'Tis better to have loved and lost / Than never to have loved at all". Following my own advice, I've found that nine times out of 10 I'm glad I took an opportunity (even if it didn't work out), and the 10th I'm just 'meh'.

Also, I've found that people and relationships come along just when you least expect it, so you'll probably have more luck finding someone suitable for you when you're NOT looking and, as someone else said, at the most inconvenient time when you're mega busy on five hundred big projects. But if they're right for you this won't matter, because if you want to be together you'll find a way of making it work.

I also agree that love and relationships (and even heartbreak) are life experiences that are usually very inspiring. This is certainly true for an awful lot of people (including me). Then again, relationships aren't for everyone, and there are plenty of very happy singletons out there who find more pleasure in their solitary hobbies.

HTH - good luck

p.s. there's no such thing as 'I don't have time'. It all comes down to priorities. If you're completely honest with yourself you'll realise that you have time for the things you want to make time for. You always manage to find the time to eat, poop and sleep, no matter how busy or hectic your life is. The simple reason for this is that if you didn't, you'd die. Similarly, if something major happens like your bank card gets lost or stolen, you manage to find the time to call your bank and tell them, otherwise you'd risk losing your money, even if it means taking five minutes away from something else that's important to you. You also manage to find time to read SOS and come on here to ask advice of other readers because you want to, and relationships are no different - it just depends how high you prioritise them as to whether you have time for them. If a fantastic wonderful woman comes your way and you realise she's perfect for you, you'll suddenly find that you can (and want to) MAKE time for her. People say 'I don't have time' when they really mean 'I don't want to make time'...

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Music Wolf



Joined: 17/02/06
Posts: 757
Loc: Exiled to St Helens
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: zenguitar]
      #992385 - 11/06/12 09:19 PM
Quote zenguitar:

Happy Birthday Music Wolf

Wishing you a great day, many more to come, and in the years between them carry on with your contributions here to help pass the time. They are always welcome and appreciated.

Andy




Thanks Andy

Don't know what went wrong but this year but no guitar / music related presents (unless you count a TomTom SatNav which sounds like a type of drum and can be used to find my way to gigs). Hopefully I'll make up for it next year (the big 5-0), a Martyn Booth Signature strikes me as a suitable present to celebrate a half century

Chris


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Anonymous
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Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: Jennifer Jones]
      #992391 - 11/06/12 10:40 PM
Thanks for all the replies everyone. I've decided that, if things don't go well musically, I can always wait until I'm a decrepit old man and then turn up at one of those mass Moonie weddings smelling of sick and urine. I just want to see how strong their faith is, or whether a ring forms around me where nobody will stand, where my suitcase full of thoroughly soiled underwear has spilled out onto the pristine white floor in the middle of the ceremony. Now that's a mental way to choose a partner!


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zenguitarModerator
active member


Joined: 05/12/02
Posts: 8730
Loc: Devon
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: Music Wolf]
      #992393 - 11/06/12 11:12 PM
Quote Music Wolf:

Quote zenguitar:

Happy Birthday Music Wolf

Wishing you a great day, many more to come, and in the years between them carry on with your contributions here to help pass the time. They are always welcome and appreciated.

Andy




Thanks Andy

Don't know what went wrong but this year but no guitar / music related presents (unless you count a TomTom SatNav which sounds like a type of drum and can be used to find my way to gigs). Hopefully I'll make up for it next year (the big 5-0), a Martyn Booth Signature strikes me as a suitable present to celebrate a half century

Chris




My Pleasure Chris But please, don't raise my hopes too much, I hit (if that's the right word) the big Five-O this summer... Trying to think of it as reaching the halfway stage rather than a half century

Andy

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Frisonic



Joined: 27/01/10
Posts: 3564
Loc: London, United Kingdom
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: zenguitar]
      #992401 - 12/06/12 12:14 AM
Quote zenguitar:

Quote Music Wolf:

Quote zenguitar:

Happy Birthday Music Wolf

Wishing you a great day, many more to come, and in the years between them carry on with your contributions here to help pass the time. They are always welcome and appreciated.

Andy




Thanks Andy

Don't know what went wrong but this year but no guitar / music related presents (unless you count a TomTom SatNav which sounds like a type of drum and can be used to find my way to gigs). Hopefully I'll make up for it next year (the big 5-0), a Martyn Booth Signature strikes me as a suitable present to celebrate a half century

Chris




My Pleasure Chris But please, don't raise my hopes too much, I hit (if that's the right word) the big Five-O this summer... Trying to think of it as reaching the halfway stage rather than a half century

Andy




I am no fan (and never have been) of Liam Fox. The only thing we remotely have in common is that we were both 50 last year. But he said something about his 50th B'day party that chimed. "To celebrate one's 50th is an oxymoron". Or words to that effect.

Your gig guys. All I can tell you is that I had a far better time celebrating my 51st!

Cheers



PS: The good news is that it doesn't interfere with your relationship with music...

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Airfix



Joined: 07/05/12
Posts: 450
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: Frisonic]
      #992404 - 12/06/12 01:16 AM
Quote Frisonic:




PS: The good news is that it doesn't interfere with your relationship with music...



Growing old sucks, but just yesterday I discovered something completely new on my guitar. Joy of joys!! It's in keeping with the promise I was told as a child - music being a gift for life.
They weren't wrong. Some days it saves my ass.
Music has never gotten in the way of my other loves.
I know my wife loves me for the music too - it's the way she looks at me after a session. Cant be beat!


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Frisonic



Joined: 27/01/10
Posts: 3564
Loc: London, United Kingdom
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: Airfix]
      #992405 - 12/06/12 02:06 AM
Quote Airfix:

I know my wife loves me for the music too - it's the way she looks at me after a session. Cant be beat!




Very, very cool.



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Anonymous
Unregistered




Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #992406 - 12/06/12 03:11 AM
Hold on a sec...

On the afternoon of the 7th you said you'd met a girl.

On the afternoon of the 8th it was over?

What went wrong in those 24 hours? Do tell and we may be able to offer some advice.

FWIW, and possibly not much help but it's alot more fun doing it the other way round - date a bevvy of beauties in 20s and 30s then get serious about music. At 40+ it's a struggle because, to be frank, unless you're incredibly rich it's a bit like being left with the leftovers at a 'grab-a-granny' evening.

I would suggest not waiting any longer and get out there and get dating! Women are wonderful creatures and if anything, only enhance one's work and musical experiences. Certainly true in my case (and everyone I know in the bizniz actually). I couldn't make music without my GF motivating me and believing in me that's for sure.


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ConcertinaChap



Joined: 20/07/05
Posts: 2587
Loc: Bradford on Avon
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #992439 - 12/06/12 09:25 AM
Quote White Car Man:

I couldn't make music without my GF motivating me and believing in me that's for sure.




So true.

CC

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Anonymous
Unregistered




Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #992473 - 12/06/12 01:19 PM
Quote:

On the afternoon of the 7th you said you'd met a girl.




I already knew her.

Quote:

What went wrong in those 24 hours?




I saw her acting a similar way with someone else, which is fair enough, but it obviously meant it's just her nice character and not reflective of her interest in me. It had gone further with us, of course, but only at times that don't really count (parties, festivals, etc).

Quote:

FWIW, and possibly not much help but it's alot more fun doing it the other way round - date a bevvy of beauties in 20s and 30s then get serious about music. At 40+ it's a struggle because, to be frank, unless you're incredibly rich it's a bit like being left with the leftovers at a 'grab-a-granny' evening.




Mmmm. I'm not sure about this assumption that you have to date someone your own age (and not younger) or that slightly older ladies somehow are likely to be disgusting. I know they say "half your age plus 7" but I think people are looking better for longer these days. Anyway, my family age pretty slowly (at least visibly) so hopefully it'll be some time before I make a young woman's flesh crawl (and I don't mean with lice).

Quote:

Do tell and we may be able to offer some advice.




Thanks folks... but I wasn't so much seeking 'advice' about relationships or women actually (I was in a band for 6 years and have long since sewn my wildest oats), I really just wondered about how people manage themselves and if they feel similarly about making sacrifices. Of course, when I do meet someone, I might be easily overwhelmed, but I'm not going looking for quite some time.

Who would've thought? SOS with an 'Agony Aunt' section!


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BJG145



Joined: 06/08/05
Posts: 3378
Loc: Norwich UK
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #992484 - 12/06/12 02:07 PM
Quote J.A.S:

I was in a band for 6 years and have long since sewn my wildest oats




What, you had the snip?


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Anonymous
Unregistered




Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: BJG145]
      #992495 - 12/06/12 03:28 PM
Quote:

What, you had the snip?




I thought it was 'sow' not 'sew', but when I checked it (out of curiosity) the online Urban Dictionary had it as 'sew' ...sow I assumed I had it wrong.


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Jennifer Jones
Web Editor, Support & Social Media


Joined: 06/11/07
Posts: 1101
Loc: Cambridge, UK
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #992500 - 12/06/12 03:50 PM
Quote J.A.S:

I thought it was 'sow' not 'sew', but when I checked it (out of curiosity) the online Urban Dictionary had it as 'sew' ...sow I assumed I had it wrong.




Ah yes, that well-known OED rival

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Anonymous
Unregistered




Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #992519 - 12/06/12 06:11 PM
Quote J.A.S:

...I really just wondered about how people manage themselves...




I haven't had to manage myself for some time now, but my preference is a warm bath, sandalwood shaving soap and Kate Bush's 'Never Forever' on loop.


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Anonymous
Unregistered




Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #992544 - 12/06/12 09:50 PM
Easy...there...feller.


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turbodave



Joined: 25/04/08
Posts: 2356
Loc: derbyshire uk
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #992570 - 13/06/12 07:49 AM
Quote J.A.S:

Easy...there...feller.



Are you lowering him into the bath?

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Anonymous
Unregistered




Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #992669 - 13/06/12 02:32 PM
It was on BBC news last night (and in the Telelgraph) that women write about sex better than men. I find this quite interesting considering that there is also a notion that men write romance (love songs, fiction, etc) better than women. I wouldn't really know, but I wonder if it has to do with who has the most power in each case.

I mean, it must be weird and scary for women to get ogled everyday and know they have all that sexual power. (Having any kind of power can be scary and stressful, but one that zaps big sweaty blokes into an ogling action must be particularly so. It must be like walking into a really dodgy northern pub dressed in a fine white suite and Fedora hat.)

It's hard to tell how much self-awareness is involved or how much is natural. Obviously, women dress more (or as much) for themselves and eachother (I mean, I'd say that £5 flowery housedress they (perhaps) "wouldn't be seen dead in" is 100 times more attractive to men than the height of New York fashion). Likewise, with men (myself included) it's hard to know how much is love pain and how much is self-pity.

On the other hand, I remember some 'many a true word' jokes by Dylan Moran about how men go a bit loopy over women they fall in love with. All of a sudden, you don't care about anything else, your job, your home, food, even sex. I've felt that once or twice, but not for a long long time now and I don't really want to. I know it gives an immense feeling of exhilaration, but I do think there's something slightly psychotic about it -albeit without the aggression.

I mean, research has revealed that men's testosterone levels plummet when they're in love whilst women's testosterone rises. Basically, women become more like men and vice-versa. I think this might explain a lot! It wouldn't surprise me at all, if, at some point in the future, a vaccine or a pill cure for love is developed for those poor souls who become hopelessly smitten.

As for love songs, unless you're talking about the likes of Leonard Cohen, Bob Dylan, Neil Young, The Beatles, Harry Nilsson, etc, I'm not sure I agree that love has inspired the greatest songs. I can't see me downloading The Love Album '83 anytime soon.


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Anonymous
Unregistered




Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #992698 - 13/06/12 04:51 PM
We either accept our humanity, our nature, or we try and second guess ourselves and beat it for some perceived greater good. It seems to me, now, that it's such a beautiful and unlikely gift to have all these atoms come together to make little ol' me and that i can be here in this paradise and i know it... well, how can i second guess that? So having tried all these self deceptions and having tried to command aspects of the large part of my being which i actually have no control over (attraction, mood etc), i've given up. Now i just go with the flow.


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GlynB



Joined: 26/09/03
Posts: 4014
Loc: Lancashire, UK.
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #992825 - 14/06/12 12:41 PM
We like to think of ourselves as miracles, but aren't miracles supposed to be rare?

I was somewhat surprised to hear recently that there are more humans in the UK than rabbits

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Frisonic



Joined: 27/01/10
Posts: 3564
Loc: London, United Kingdom
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: GlynB]
      #992831 - 14/06/12 01:24 PM
Quote GlynB:

I was somewhat surprised to hear recently that there are more humans in the UK than rabbits




No way? That totally floored me that did! It was never that way around before was it? I'm going to retreat to the burrow and lie down with a carrot juice forthwith. How is this possible? Is it over zealous farmers with their 12 bores? Is it mixomatosis? Or is it those cheap sliced and diced Chinese imports? I suspect genocide.

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Airfix



Joined: 07/05/12
Posts: 450
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: GlynB]
      #992843 - 14/06/12 02:45 PM
9.5 million rabbits live in Scotland.


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Jim



Joined: 31/08/04
Posts: 531
Loc: Washington, England
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: Airfix]
      #992852 - 14/06/12 03:47 PM
Quote Airfix:

9.5 million rabbits live in Scotland.




And according to my best Googling, 5.5 million people.


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Music Wolf



Joined: 17/02/06
Posts: 757
Loc: Exiled to St Helens
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: Jim]
      #992854 - 14/06/12 04:09 PM
Quote Jim:


And according to my best Googling, 5.5 million people.




Exist, surely? I've been to Scotland, I wouldn't call it living.


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Airfix



Joined: 07/05/12
Posts: 450
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: Music Wolf]
      #992871 - 14/06/12 05:30 PM
Quote Music Wolf:

I've been to Scotland, I wouldn't call it living.



9.5 million bunnies cant be wrong. No more double malt and bonnie lassies for Music Wolf.


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Jennifer Jones
Web Editor, Support & Social Media


Joined: 06/11/07
Posts: 1101
Loc: Cambridge, UK
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: Music Wolf]
      #992948 - 15/06/12 09:45 AM
Quote Music Wolf:



Exist, surely? I've been to Scotland, I wouldn't call it living.




Harsh! I went to Edinburgh once, a long time ago. It wasn't so bad. The lochs are quite nice too.

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Anonymous
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Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #992976 - 15/06/12 11:28 AM


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GlynB



Joined: 26/09/03
Posts: 4014
Loc: Lancashire, UK.
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: Jim]
      #992979 - 15/06/12 11:36 AM
Quote Jim:

Quote Airfix:

9.5 million rabbits live in Scotland.




And according to my best Googling, 5.5 million people.




They might provide a valuable food export, post independence, or given the title of the thread, should that be...post divorce.

...And that bagpipe bunny is the wierdest looking wabbit I ever saw.

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Anonymous
Unregistered




Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: GlynB]
      #992992 - 15/06/12 12:13 PM
I was trying to get back on topic. That's Scottish beaver.


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turbodave



Joined: 25/04/08
Posts: 2356
Loc: derbyshire uk
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #993011 - 15/06/12 01:26 PM
Quote ow:

I was trying to get back on topic. That's Scottish beaver.



That's a lovely beaver you have there!

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Jennifer Jones
Web Editor, Support & Social Media


Joined: 06/11/07
Posts: 1101
Loc: Cambridge, UK
Re: Relationships ...or Music? new [Re: ]
      #993021 - 15/06/12 02:09 PM
Quote ow:

I was trying to get back on topic. That's Scottish beaver.




I see what you did there.

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Anonymous
Unregistered




Re: Relationships ...or Music? [Re: ]
      #993099 - 15/06/12 10:18 PM
I prefer rabbit eggs me though. They lay um everywhere, little brown things.


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