It is rather dark and emotionally intense for mainstream dance music though that's not to say people can't dance to it. Needs more space for the audience maybe?
I don't think I have have any useful advice on frequency balance - not something I'm good at. Doesn't sound bad, though.
Basically, it sounds like an OK song, work-in-progress. Interesting harmonies. I'd like hear how it comes out when you add the planned vocal.
Maybe you or the singer could think about streamlining the melody/lyrics by removing a few words, for example:
[in] seven minutes, I'll be gone
[if you'd] admit that you were wrong - [then] I might still be here
... [the] moment drawing near
Towards the end of the song, the gap between the words Angel and Dust sounds strange.
When your guide vocal gets into that more confident style at around 1:23 you briefly sound remarkably like someone retro and classic... can't quite remember who, most likely Heaven 17 or Human League, or something similar.
I'm wondering why the bass/chord progression under the words 'Angel Dust' never emphasizes the G in between F and Am, when that would sound more 'commercial', IMHO.
It also feels like you could do some interesting things by dropping in one or two unexpected major chords once the listener gets used to the minor key. Maybe try substituting D for Dm and/or A for Am in various places and see how it sounds?
thanks for the listen
i do have an eighties kinda voice, although i'm not really old enough for it. some good advice there about decluttering the lyrics, i'll definitely have a play with that.
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