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£907 for a jack lead!

Postby Dr Huge Longjohns » Tue Jun 24, 2014 10:42 am

Can't beat a good typo for cheap laffs. ebay lead
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby molecular » Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:57 am

well... it does have an angled jack... and it is red, which is my favourite colour...
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby The Bunk » Tue Jun 24, 2014 2:33 pm

I'd love to know the point at which the seller though "actually I need to make that £907 and 39 pence.."
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Tony O'Shea » Tue Jun 24, 2014 3:41 pm

Bargin! The p&p is free!

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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby zenguitar » Tue Jun 24, 2014 3:42 pm

The scary thing is that the listing shows 'more than 10 available / 3 sold' !!

However, for an Ebay shop stocking a range of lines, when something goes out of stock it is a lot easier to change the price to something stupidly expensive than it is to de-list the item and re-list it when it comes back in stock. And if someone REALLY wants to pay that much for a guitar lead, they can always take the money and go to the nearest guitar shop and buy one for £20 and send that out instead.

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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Dr Huge Longjohns » Fri Jun 27, 2014 8:05 am

for an Ebay shop stocking a range of lines, when something goes out of stock it is a lot easier to change the price to something stupidly expensive than it is to de-list the item and re-list it when it comes back in stock.


That's really interesting, Zen. You see ludicrously high prices on eBay quite often and I've always assumed the seller was just hoping an oil sheik would stumble on his listing and pay the asking price. But your explanation makes perfect sense. And it keeps chaps like us amused into the bargain.
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby mick.n » Fri Jun 27, 2014 11:03 am

"£907 for a jack lead?"

jack it in guv.
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Dr Huge Longjohns » Tue Jul 01, 2014 9:25 am

Look! You can now get a Berhringer control surface to plug your £907 lead into: a snip at £99,999 but, happily, delivery is free. X touch
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby JamesM808 » Tue Jul 01, 2014 12:15 pm

How about $5999?

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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Dr Huge Longjohns » Tue Jul 01, 2014 12:36 pm

Truth is always crazier than fiction, I guess!
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby CS70 » Tue Jul 01, 2014 3:22 pm

Jimmy Page must have used it at some point
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Scope » Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:20 pm

I had always assumed is was money laundering.
eBay is a very obvious way of cleaning money & high prices help that process.
Either way, a cable for £900 is VERY suspect. !
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Tim Keep » Wed Jul 02, 2014 3:55 am

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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Logarhythm » Wed Jul 02, 2014 8:07 am

^^Dunno what your problem is; gold is renowned for its transparency in the visual section of the EM spectrum - who wouldn't want their reading glasses coated in a few mm of 24 carat leaf?
(Could actually have potentially useful optical properties for certain types of system. But this definitely isn't one of them...)
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Dr Huge Longjohns » Wed Jul 02, 2014 8:54 am

Nah, it's obvious that the gold coating gives the light analog warmth. It's like your sounds wearing sunglasses. Instant coolness.
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Logarhythm » Wed Jul 02, 2014 5:27 pm

Huge Longjohns wrote:Nah, it's obvious that the gold coating gives the light analog warmth. It's like your sounds wearing sunglasses. Instant coolness.

I should have realised as much - clearly an audiophile product
Wonder if they're using analogue or digital gold? It's easy to tell them apart - the former has a smooth, warm and wholesome atomic number of 79, whereas for the latter it's a cold and analytical 1001111
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Folderol » Wed Jul 02, 2014 11:24 pm

Logarhythm wrote:
Huge Longjohns wrote:Nah, it's obvious that the gold coating gives the light analog warmth. It's like your sounds wearing sunglasses. Instant coolness.

I should have realised as much - clearly an audiophile product
Wonder if they're using analogue or digital gold? It's easy to tell them apart - the former has a smooth, warm and wholesome atomic number of 79, whereas for the latter it's a cold and analytical 1001111
It's worse than that. Connect it up the wrong way and you'll get 1111001 which really is not the same thing at all.
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Dr Huge Longjohns » Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:49 pm

Gad! It's a jungle out there! How on earth do we ever get any decent stuff recorded with all these sonic minefields thrown in our way!
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Logarhythm » Thu Jul 03, 2014 1:51 pm

Folderol wrote: It's worse than that. Connect it up the wrong way and you'll get 1111001 which really is not the same thing at all.

You may have stumbled upon a fantastic idea sir - what could be more appealing to the audiophile (and indeed the marketing departments of audiophile manufacturers...) than a cable made out of an element so rare that it doesn't exist yet!
Think element with atomic number 121 currently given named Unbiunium - sounds exactly like the sort of thing that a £squillion hifi cable should be made of


Huge Longjohns wrote:Gad! It's a jungle out there! How on earth do we ever get any decent stuff recorded with all these sonic minefields thrown in our way!

We don't - but we'll never realise because our signal chains are so poor, what with our sh!tty copper cables, balanced connections etc. In fact I bet many of the SoS forum members are the sorts of heathens who are still using the standard mains cables that came with their equipment
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Folderol » Thu Jul 03, 2014 9:41 pm

Logarhythm wrote:In fact I bet many of the SoS forum members are the sorts of heathens who are still using the standard mains cables that came with their equipment
Surely not! Aren't you supposed to strip off the outer casing so that the wires inside can 'breathe'?
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Jay Menon » Fri Jul 04, 2014 6:21 am

A few months ago I wanted to purchase a different product from this same retailer (and their prices are usually very low). The item was priced ridiculously highly, and I enquired via the phone.

Andy is correct. When an item is out of stock, this seller puts the price up to a very higih level - and when the item comes back in stock, they lower it back to the correct price. In some way it makes things admnistratively easier for them...
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Dr Huge Longjohns » Fri Jul 11, 2014 11:30 am

Surely not! Aren't you supposed to strip off the outer casing so that the wires inside can 'breathe'?

OH.MY.GOD. Everyone knows that when you do this the analogue warmth escapes. You have to wrap your main cables in Peruvian Llama nasal hair to keep the analog warmth atoms at exactly the right temperature. And don't try and skimp by using your own nasal hair.
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Logarhythm » Fri Jul 11, 2014 12:29 pm

Woah, call yourself an audiophile? Pah!
Surely everyone knows that nasal hair from Llamas is going to have loads of really dirty electrons in it, and just think what that will do to the signal quality
I don't think Folderol is right either though - I know what he means about letting it breathe, but there is just too much risk of atmospheric contamination.
I just don't think there is a sensible solution currently on the market, but I may have the answer that we all need - I plan on starting a Kickstarter project to fund development of a special sleeve to be applied over the mains cable. It will be made of graphene, diamonds and mahogany, because these words have a distinct marketing advantage and sound expensive, hi-tech and yet, thanks to the wood, retain an organic and natural feel (sorry, maybe I actually mean that these materials have certain special electrodynamic properties...).

Since you gents are clearly most in need of these, I'll give you a special 50% discount if you pay up front, reducing the cost to a very reasonable £7500 per sleeve (cable not included).
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Dr Huge Longjohns » Fri Jul 11, 2014 1:16 pm

I'm in, where do I order?
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Logarhythm » Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:14 pm

Well I don't have credit card processing facilities at present, but if you can send via Paypal (N.B. I only accept "gift" transfers ) an initial non-refundable deposit of £1k, you don't need to pay the rest until the sleeves are ready. But I will need you to also send a photocopy of both sides of your credit card, your PIN, mother's maiden name, full address (and utility bill for proof), and your NI number.
You don't need to worry about data security or identity theft - the above is just part of our special introductory offer and shows our commitment to ripping off gullible individuals in as many ways as possible.
As soon as I've finished making up the data and/or devising some flawed experiments, I'll have some graphs and charts etc that prove the cables are brilliant and am thus expecting demand to be very high, so be glad you're at the front of the queue
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Dr Huge Longjohns » Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:27 pm

Just before I order can you confirm that the mahogany molecules won't give too much of a woody sound to Gibson-based guitar parts recorded while I'm using the sleeve on my mains lead? I've heard that there is a big difference between the sound of mahogany molecules and maple molecules and am worrying that I might be better using a maple based mains lead sleeve to balance things out? Perhaps as part of your new company's R&D process you could investigate the option of choosing between mahogany, maple or rosewood for the wood content?
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Logarhythm » Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:44 pm

OK, as you're talking about molecules and stuff like that I can see you are a gent of scientific inclination, and will thus stick to verifiable facts and avoid the marketing waffle. I appreciate your concerns and as a service-led company we have to publicly state that the customer is always right. Even if they're all idiots (a foregone conclusion if they're buying our products).
My detailed unbiased scientific research has led me to conclude that in this case, your are quite correct. You can rely on our testing as we use methods designed to give exactly the results we want, and many of our analytical techniques have acronyms that sound really impressive (I'll provide full details of these as soon as I've had chance to make them up).
Our comprehensive testing has indicated that this effect is indeed real, as you have so astutely observed. Furthermore, we found that it can be very specific to a given model, so for example the mahogany works well with a USA strat, but less so with a Mexican strat, and definitely wrong with a tele. If you can let me know what model of Gibson you have I can see what I can do to best accommodate it, although the great news (for me) is that you may need to buy one cable for each model of guitar you have, in order to get the maximum benefits.
So as to best cater for this new expanded requirement, I'll be using genuine MDF with a range of fetching veneers and/or stains to suit the application.
I should add that in order to do this you will have to sign up to our new and exclusive bespoke range - it's only a small extra fee of £1000 (+vat) and gives you access to every sort of wood you can imagine, provided it's a colour that is part of the standard Ronseal range and is suitable for use on MDF.

Note 1: Sorry for derailing this thread with all of this gibberish. I don't think anyone else is reading anymore though!
Note 2: All ideas, techniques, theories, words, lies and half-truths in these posts are the intellectual property of Terrible Cables Ltd (company motto: "Sounds sh!ttier than recycled lawnmower cable, and only a million times as expensive!")
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Dr Huge Longjohns » Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:11 pm

although the great news (for me) is that you may need to buy one cable for each model of guitar you have, in order to get the maximum benefits.


Please cancel my order. It is now perfectly obvious that you are nothing but a charlatan, mountebank and peddler of snake-oil. Any person purporting to be a real manufacturer of audiophile quality wood-based mains lead sleeving technology would instantly know that my question was a trap. Hah! Everyone in the world, apart from people with ears, knows that maple fingerboards on eg a telecaster, sound different from those with a rosewood one. And therefore you would have to make a separate lead sleeve not just for different models of guitar but for different versions too in order to get the appropriate sonic benefits. (Which naturally I would have been happy to pay for.)

I can only breathe a sigh of relief that I rumbled your little scheme before I parted with any cash.
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby Folderol » Fri Jul 11, 2014 5:14 pm

{rushes out to cancel a cheque}
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Re: £907 for a jack lead!

Postby 3rdConstruction » Sat Jul 12, 2014 2:26 am

wrote:Sorry for derailing this thread with all of this gibberish. I don't think anyone else is reading anymore though!"
This thread has been a real treat. It had the makings of a Monty Python sketch!
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