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How and how often do you clean your studio?

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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Guest » Thu Jun 27, 2019 10:08 am

lol Yes, where does all that dust come from? I just watched Prof' Brian Cox Planets and they say the solar system is made up from dust and gas so maybe theres a link.
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Music Wolf » Thu Jun 27, 2019 10:37 am

Don't give me that Brian Cox rubbish. He's done bugger all in music since 1997. :protest:
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Rich Hanson » Thu Jun 27, 2019 12:06 pm

Music Wolf wrote:Don't give me that Brian Cox rubbish. He's done bugger all in music since 1997. :protest:

And in a tweet from him today, he admitted he couldn't even program a DX7. Ha, call yourself a physics professor, Cox? :bouncy:
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Guest » Thu Jun 27, 2019 12:15 pm

I did say dust and gas . I thought his Planets series was more to do with him being an acceptable front man, the music was like ten million philharmonic orchestras! totally OTT. It all felt like jobs for the beeb boys and there associates with sad old Brian mumbling on something about billions and billions and billions of Carl Sagan's and the wonder of gas and dust. I like him though, he is a plonker but a likable one.
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby ManFromGlass » Thu Jun 27, 2019 12:57 pm

Every 2nd day the French maid in fishnets and stilettos wearing the traditional maids mini skirt vacuums and dusts while I sit back in the recliner and supervise.
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby ManFromGlass » Thu Jun 27, 2019 1:06 pm

Sorry, I thought this was the tell a lie forum. :headbang:

Ok every 2-3 weeks. The rug is a dust and tiny scraps of food magnet.
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Martin Walker » Thu Jun 27, 2019 1:15 pm

I do run the vacuum cleaner round the floor of the studio once a week when I do the rest of the house, and then switch to the sucker brush attachment and go over my front panels and PC keyboard. Every couple of week I also open the front door of my PC and suck the dust of its inlet fans to help keep it cool.

My synth keyboards are neatly covered by an incredibly cheap yoga mat I bought and then cut into several pieces - that saves me having to dust them, AND any embarrassment when visiting musicians sign their name in the dust that otherwise accrues ;)

Once a year I unplug all the audio and mains cables one by one and give them a wipe with Caig DeOxit to maintain good contact

Sorry to raise the tone :smirk:


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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Logarhythm » Thu Jun 27, 2019 1:42 pm

Dr Huge Longjohns wrote:That's really interesting. As you have probably gathered, the studio is now back up and running after that tricky business with the African choir so any help you can give with keeping the brand new premises shipshape would be much appreciated. Mrs Longjohns used to do a bit of sweeping and dusting but is currently away working as a bodyguard for Nigel Farage so is rather busy. Is the filtered air supply noisy?
It's your thread to take OT, so...

Well yes, of course it’s noisy.
We see stories of studios keeping large mixers or sets of NS10s around because it creates the right impression for the client, and we believe the same principle should apply to our CleanStudio™ air management systems – when you switch it on, you want your clients to know that it’s a premium setup, and for that reason we power our systems using engines taken from the previous season’s Formula 1 cars. These deliver ample power to maintain a sufficient air pressure differential, and when you start it up you can guarantee that your clients will think “**** me that is quite an air conditioning system”, or at least they would if they could hear themselves think.

Obviously we recognise that acoustic management is also critical for some of our clients, and we realise that the prestige of having Lewis Hamilton’s former engine revving away may not offset the slight drawbacks of a little bit of an increase (probably no more than 120dB) in background noise levels. Thus, we offer a special upgrade package that completely solves the problem, and like all quality manufacturers we are firmly committed to the principle of over-engineering our solutions, even if we don’t know what that actually means.
Are you familiar with the concept of the space elevator? The principle roughly being a platform in geostationary orbit that is physically linked to the ground, as the two points do not move relative to each other. This seems an ideal solution, so we put the engine on a platform in geostationary orbit above your studio, and a pipeline connects it to the ventilation in your new CleanStudio™- equipped room, via a technology we call Aerial Relocation Space Extraction. Some may say that putting an internal combustion engine in space is a bad idea, and others may say that trying to feed air down a pipe from space is also a bad idea, but they are simply lacking vision. There will of course be three sets of piping, because complexity is proportional to the size of your bill – one pipe hung down into the atmosphere to draw air for the engine, one to draw air to be pumped by the engine down to your studio, and one to pump that air down to your studio. This comes at a cost, but you’ll doubtless agree that £347 trillion is both fair and reasonable. We’ll even throw in a free rope ladder so you can climb up to the platform to top up the fuel tank. Based on our current calculations, you should need to do this no more than once per hour, which is a small compromise in the pursuit of the perfect recording. We estimate that you should be able to get there and back in around 10 minutes, assuming a moderate level of fitness such that you can climb/descend at a reasonable speed – around 120000 metres per second – whilst wearing your spacesuit and carrying several gallons of highly flammable liquid.
N.B. Audiophile-grade spacesuit is not included in the price and must be purchased separately.

Two upgrades are available that will further enhance your system, and to be honest we’d be surprised if any clients don’t opt for one of these.
The first is an additional fuel line to save having to climb the rope ladder to fill up the engine, using a small pump sited on the ground to send fuel up to the tank on the platform. Again this obviously has to be needlessly complicated and expensive, and so the pump is driven by a second F1 car engine. And I know what you’re thinking: “What about the noise?”. Of course we have considered that, and for a small surcharge (£736 trillion) we will mount this engine on a second platform in geostationary orbit. Thus you can use this to draw up fuel for itself and to feed to the tank powering the first engine, and enjoy a completely silent* positive air pressure into your new CleanStudio™ room. Both platforms come equipped with webcams, so you will still be able to see your highly impressive engines, and show them to clients. Can Abbey Road show their clients live footage of a car engine in space? No they can’t. This small investment thus instantly puts you ahead of one of the most famous studios in the world.

*It is possible that having multiple pipes exposed to various large forces and multiple crosswinds as they span the entire height of the atmosphere may lead to a small amount of vibration in connected equipment/buildings at ground level, and this could generate a small amount of noise, limited levels of complete destruction of buildings etc.


It does occur to me that, as a conscientious and forward-thinking gentleman, you may find the idea of using fossil fuels rather selfish and outmoded. Indeed many of your clients will of course expect a commitment to a more environmental approach, and we know what businesses value most: telling people about how green they are. For this reason, an extra £299.99 (+VAT) will get you a 23” LCD screen that plays a short slideshow about your commitment to the environment, with pictures of trees, pandas and smiling children all slowly moving around on a loop. And like the best in the transport world, our screens use hybrid technology that means they can be fuelled by different power sources according to preference and availability - burning coal, burning the last remaining polar bear, or using a waterwheel driven by the outflow from melting glaciers. The latter is highly sustainable, since the world is lucky enough to have many melting glaciers at present :thumbup:

But what about businesses who actually want to be green, rather than just telling people about it? I know, it’s positively ludicrous and most of our clients can’t believe such entities really exist, but here at Log Industries we are always open to opportunities to make money whilst appearing to be driven by morality and social conscience. As such, our top of the range upgrade replaces the car engines with a large solar panel array, again hosted in space. Worried that your clients won’t get the same impression of quality as they would with multiple noisy engines? Fear not – this package includes a set of large (30mx25m) illuminated signs to place outside your premises, using incandescent lightbulbs to proudly announce that you care enough about being seen to care that you’re willing to waste resources in doing so. It’s possible that they, and nearby residents within several hundred miles, will also notice the looming shadow caused by the solar panel array blocking out the sun, but this near-permanent darkness will of course only provide greater contrast for your illuminated sign.
This upgrade can be yours for just £324 quadrillion, on top of the base price, and we make sure to tell all clients that if they don’t choose this one then it’s because they don’t care about some cute creatures they saw on TV that should make them feel bad, and that as befitting a business with such high moral standards we will therefore be obliged to contact various tabloids and social media platforms to tell them about it.

As a discerning studio owner I’m sure you can see the benefits of the Log Industries CleanStudio™ technology system, and we look forward to receiving your order shortly :D
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Music Wolf » Thu Jun 27, 2019 1:49 pm

could you expand on that? :bouncy:
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Martin Walker » Thu Jun 27, 2019 2:07 pm

Music Wolf wrote:could you expand on that? :bouncy:

No, surely not - after all, Logarhythm is discussing his 'CleanStudio™ air management systems', which are all about dealing with hot air :lol:


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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby blinddrew » Thu Jun 27, 2019 4:52 pm

Eddy Deegan wrote:My studio is quite cramped which leads to difficulty reaching behind and under certain things so I vacuum the fluff (mainly dog hair in our case) and dust off the floor
Wouldn't it be quicker just to hoover the dog directly?
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Logarhythm » Thu Jun 27, 2019 6:46 pm

Um, sorry folks :blush:
Do any of you find that you need to maintain a kind of equilibrium of silliness?
I came out of a long and serious meeting, sat down to have a sandwich, saw Dr Longjohns' post and started typing without realising quite how much nonsense I'd actually written - it was just sort of spewing forth, balancing out all of the morning's sensibleness. So I found it kind of therapeutic, but it may have been a bit much for the rest of you :beamup:

blinddrew wrote: Wouldn't it be quicker just to hoover the dog directly?
Perhaps you can give a demonstration at the SoSage meet? :mrgreen:
My previous dog really liked being vacuumed, the current one less so...
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Folderol » Thu Jun 27, 2019 8:13 pm

Logarhythm wrote:Um, sorry folks :blush:
Do any of you find that you need to maintain a kind of equilibrium of silliness?
I came out of a long and serious meeting, sat down to have a sandwich, saw Dr Longjohns' post and started typing without realising quite how much nonsense I'd actually written - it was just sort of spewing forth, balancing out all of the morning's sensibleness. So I found it kind of therapeutic, but it may have been a bit much for the rest of you :beamup:

'sOK.
Ummm, have you ever thought of hiring yourself out as a filibuster expert? :wave:
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby ronmac » Thu Jun 27, 2019 10:29 pm

In my studio if RX won’t do the cleanup job it doesn’t get done.

I find Speck-tral repair does the best job, although you do have to accept that it sometimes leaves artifacts.

After a heavy, smelly lunch it is often necessary to do a pass of De-Hum.
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Eddy Deegan » Thu Jun 27, 2019 10:47 pm

Logarhythm wrote:... started typing without realising quite how much nonsense I'd actually written - it was just sort of spewing forth, balancing out all of the morning's sensibleness. So I found it kind of therapeutic, but it may have been a bit much for the rest of you :beamup:

No worries, I do it all the time. I enjoyed the read :D
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Dynamic Mike » Fri Jun 28, 2019 1:14 am

I clean my studio weekly, at least once a month, twice every year, when I can be bothered. I think it's essential to have a cleaning schedule and to stick to it.

Them most useful cleaning tool I have is a pure bristle shaving brush. It's great for flicking bits out of keyboards, faders & those pesky indents around knobs & buttons etc. However, it really earns it's keep on guitar headstocks & bridges. You can even get at that crap-trap between the bridge & the bridge pickup without detuning. I know a lot of people just use a paintbrush but the head profile of a shaving brush just seems better suited to the job.
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby awjoe » Fri Jun 28, 2019 2:09 am

I take a composite approach - clean the computer desk, turn the lights down, give any visitor a beer before going into the studio. Works every time, it seems. Seems that way to me, anyway. Probably the beer.
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Dr Huge Longjohns » Fri Jun 28, 2019 10:09 am

Them most useful cleaning tool I have is a pure bristle shaving brush.
Genius! Will get one forthwith.
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby blinddrew » Fri Jun 28, 2019 10:13 am

Oooh, hadn't thought of one of those.
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Re: How and how often do you clean your studio?

Postby Dr Huge Longjohns » Fri Jun 28, 2019 10:23 am

This seems an ideal solution, so we put the engine on a platform in geostationary orbit above your studio, and a pipeline connects it to the ventilation in your new CleanStudio™- equipped room, via a technology we call Aerial Relocation Space Extraction. Some may say that putting an internal combustion engine in space is a bad idea, and others may say that trying to feed air down a pipe from space is also a bad idea, but they are simply lacking vision.

Very, very cool. Obviously there's a lot to take in here but a few initial questions spring to mind. Firstly, does the A.R.S.E system have a manual pressure over-ride? A nice chap I met online says he manages Paul Simon and that for a small introduction fee of around £20m he will get Paul to come and record his next album at Longjohns Sound.

But naturally I don't want to jeopardise what could potentially be a very fruitful relationship by allowing Paul's toupee to be sucked into the cold wastes of Earth orbit during his first visit. It would, I think, put a bit of a damper on the session. Not to mention the distress it might cause to passing astronauts in years to come!

So can I assume I can moderate the suction strength to taste?
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