And whilst I'm here and you are all indignant about me being 'heartless' and 'setting the wrong tone' - what exactly do you think the effect of a 20% reduction in GDP will bring?
A World-wide depression!
And who will be the main sufferers of that depression? Well, for starters, it will not be me because I am not poor.
Every year, year in, year out, year-by-year, 17,000 people in the UK die because they live in substandard housing. Of those, 3,000 die because they cannot afford to heat their homes. The rest die of fungal infections and other similar ailments.
And that is EVERY year. Poverty kills. And this hysteria will serve to make people like me richer. With the poor dying or unable to pay the rent, I can buy more houses and rent them out.
A new army of the desperate and unemployed will become cheap and available for work.
And with government busy printing more money and lending sums that will never be returned, not paying taxes in all this confusion and fuss will be even easier.
We are having a massive economic sudden stop. It's the sort of thing that happens in fragile banana republics, it doesn't happen economy-wide and it certainly doesn't happen worldwide, but that's what is occurring right now.
The idiotic UK government (and others!) are printing money, lending money and reducing interest rates to zero or near-zero.
In the past week, however, something far more insidious has begun to unfold which threatens to unhinge the global economy and thwart efforts to repair our financial systems.
In what is shaping up to be an even more severe rerun of the events of 2008, credit markets have completely seized. Think of the shelves in your local supermarket and transpose that to money markets.
Cash supplies have evaporated, money is being hoarded and the real market interest rates — the price of cash — are soaring.
Central banks now find themselves staring into the abyss, on the verge of losing control of the only real weapon they have at their disposal — interest rates.
This could be the point when that virus jumps the barrier, when a health crisis infects the global financial system and sends the world economy into a severe depression with waves of corporate collapses and mass unemployment.
Ever since the US Federal Reserve slashed cash rates to near zero at the weekend, money markets have headed in the opposite direction. Cash is fast becoming rare and unaffordable. Those companies that have been gorging on cheap credit are going to fail and world-wide, millions will lose their jobs.
Why? Because this mass hysteria means that people (i.e. us) are not spending. And if we fail to spend, companies don't have cash coming in and cash-flow is EVERYTHING to the survival of a company.
There have been endless warnings about the enormous build-up of debt, particularly amongst big corporations and especially American companies, over the past few years. American corporate debt has ballooned to about $US19 trillion. US government debt is now over $20 trillion!
The International Monetary Fund, the Bank for International Settlements, the World Bank and the OECD have been banging on about it for years. Whilst a day of reckoning always was expected, no-one anticipated a variation of the common cold would be the catalyst.
Airlines and tourism have been the first to fall victim. But they are just the first-line casualties.
Service industries across the globe have seen revenues crater as customers have fled for the safety of home. Businesses that provide those companies with goods and services have been hit.
The sudden drop in revenues - in some cases to almost zero - means that a large proportion of those massive corporate debts no longer can be serviced. They can't afford to pay the interest, let alone the principal.
That has sent shivers through the financial world. Actually, that's an understatement. Financiers are in a mad panic.
Companies don't just borrow long-term for big investments. They also borrow cash for as little as a week and, in some cases, overnight. Occasionally, it is for finance just to pay wages. With money, even on short-term loans, in such short supply, desperate corporations have looked to draw down any reserves and lines of credit they can find.
That's why there has been such a massive share-sell-off. It happened to get cash!
But it's all OK because according to The Express, The Queen is still smiling!