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Song Feedback

Postby Daan30 » Tue Jun 21, 2016 1:45 am

Hey guys,

I'm always looking to grow as a singer songwriter and this is a fairly new song that I'd like to get some feedback on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxbrQhw2CmM
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Re: Song Feedback

Postby Guest » Wed Jun 22, 2016 5:11 pm

Very nicely done Dan.

FWIW I reckon a string quartet on there would be great.
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Re: Song Feedback

Postby Daan30 » Wed Jun 22, 2016 8:40 pm

Salty Dog wrote:Very nicely done Dan.

FWIW I reckon a string quartet on there would be great.

Thanks Salty Dog, some strings would be awesome. I think when I get to recording it properly, strings may be used.
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Re: Song Feedback

Postby blinddrew » Wed Jun 22, 2016 10:04 pm

Had a listen to this last night and, from a composition point of view, the only things that I would be tempted to look at would be some kind of ear candy in the second verse (either a tweak to the progression / picking pattern or something instrumentally if you do a fuller recording) and potentially a slightly longer middle eight, it felt like the variation was nice but over too soon :)
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Re: Song Feedback

Postby Daan30 » Wed Jun 22, 2016 11:36 pm

[quote=felt like the variation was nice but over too soon :)[/quote]

I think you are referring to the short bridge "despite the disappointment"

I would agree, it has always felt short to me but for the longest time I just couldn't get it finished so I just had to settled for what I had already. You know, we fall into this way of thinking that tells us a song should structurally look a certain way, a verse should be this long and so I tried to overcome that and just be content with the length of the bridge the way it was.

Does that make sense?

Thanks for your input blinddrew.
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Re: Song Feedback

Postby blinddrew » Thu Jun 23, 2016 10:27 pm

Daan30 wrote:[quote=felt like the variation was nice but over too soon :)

I think you are referring to the short bridge "despite the disappointment"

I would agree, it has always felt short to me but for the longest time I just couldn't get it finished so I just had to settled for what I had already. You know, we fall into this way of thinking that tells us a song should structurally look a certain way, a verse should be this long and so I tried to overcome that and just be content with the length of the bridge the way it was.

Does that make sense?

Thanks for your input blinddrew.[/quote]
Absolutely makes sense, I find it far too easy to fit to a format and understand why you'd not fall into that trap :¬)
I just liked it and would have enjoyed another couple of bars :¬)
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Re: Song Feedback

Postby artzmusic » Fri Jul 01, 2016 1:40 am

Daan, You have a nice touch on the guitar and good vocals! Song is quite well suited for the style.

All I can add constructively is that when phrasing becomes difficult or awkward don't hesitate to drop some of the words in the line.

You had me all the way through... and that doesn't happen for me unless there's something special in the performance. Great job!

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Re: Song Feedback

Postby Daan30 » Tue Jul 05, 2016 9:19 pm

artzmusic wrote: All I can add constructively is that when phrasing becomes difficult or awkward don't hesitate to drop some of the words in the line.

Hey, thank you, really appreciate your feedback and words. Was there a particular part in the song that you felt could have dropped some words?

Thanks guys,

Helpful feedback.
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