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[Electronic Pop] My latest song – feedback much appreciated

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[Electronic Pop] My latest song – feedback much appreciated

Postby markusrothko » Sun Nov 13, 2016 4:31 pm

Hi all,

I have been making DIY electronic pop for a couple of years now and feel that I'm nearly ready to take it to the next level. My skill is starting to catch up with my taste. For good or bad! Below is a link to my latest song. The end goal of all this is get a few strong demos together that I can send out to some labels.

Whilst making I'll Meet You There I was listening to the early Daft Punk albums, LCD Soundsystem's more melancholy songs and 90's dance music. Plus loads of Shoegaze. And Leonard Cohen on repeat.

https://soundcloud.com/markusbowie/ill-meet-you-there

Hope you like. Or if you don't, tell me why.

And thanks for reading this!

All the best,
Markus
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Re: [Electronic Pop] My latest song – feedback much appreciated

Postby lachha » Mon Nov 14, 2016 2:09 am

Hi Markus!

I was reading on Forbes (as one does) about why no one wants to help one (see my recent failed post, feedback appreciated!)
http://www.forbes.com/sites/susannahbre ... 9868a9dc55

Now when you ask other musicians to listen it can get a bit uber-critical, but you have requested feedback so here goes. My other worldly and uninformed opinion for free:

The bassline could really lift it when it comes in (0.47), I think the bass should be more bassier and emphasised in the mix (I am listening on Sony MDR-7506 headphones), the bassline sounds like a tenor at the moment.

the chord sequence (0.02) is too pronounced throughout the whole song for my taste. It is simple which is good but because of it being simple I would prefer it quieter, just something going round & round in your head in the background which you are only just aware of.

Nice synth sounds, if they were more muted with less tone (less harmonics more noise) I think it would enhance the feeling of the song more.

Good pushing beat and some guy rambling on, that's cool like it is.

When the chord sequence mutates around 1:24 I would have preferred a more audio processing mutation rather than note-based variation. Note-based comes across as too heavy, like too much content, trying to say too much. Perhaps audio mutating would give it a lighter more spacy feel at this point. What kind of processing I don't know, maybe change the rhythm to half time for fewer notes and add some light echoes for some deft inbetween note rhythm.

During this (1:24) I think something should be done with the vocal refrain which seems to be saying something like 'in dis'. With so much music going around at this point I felt the plain vocals detracted from the music. Of course some people feel the meaning and lyrics and vocals are the most important thing in a song, but for me the most important thing is the overall musical experience so lyrics are secondary, they should be an engaging accompaniment to the music IMO.

2:27 distortion! yes! more! louder! That is a real good climbing point, mix-wise the distortion sound needs to be louder, although, as you have it here, maybe not at first.

The arpeggios are pretty, make them lighter, candy to the dist bass.

2:55 good rhythm/stutter bit. Bring this out in the mix, also you could make it more kase, more out of time and maybe vary the kase to maintain intensity with the dist bass. Having introduced this rhythmic idea nothing is made of it and after it the material lacks rhythmic interest in comparison IMO. Some might say the stutter isn't much, well it doesn't need to be, it works well at that point and could be developed much more as a musical idea or direction.

3:10 onwards becomes a bit monotonous. The monotony may be true to the lyrics, I don't know, and musically the monotony is good for a short while, but at this point I want less of the diatonic chordy stuff and more of the dist bass and kase and maybe some more lyrics. After "see you around" which in the lyric sheet appear to be the ending lyrics, I would like to hear some more of "I’ll meet you there" as the ending.

Overall it felt a bit fairground relentless jolly, I preferred it when it got darker but this was too understated for my taste. :angel:
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Re: [Electronic Pop] My latest song – feedback much appreciated

Postby Agharta » Mon Nov 14, 2016 2:32 am

I listened to the first 60 seconds on good quality headphones and HiFi and felt that the vocals were too low in the mix.
I found that frustrating so gave up at that point although the tune itself was fine.
If you aren't confident enough about your voice to mix it higher then maybe don't sing.
I'd rather hear an average voice at a higher level in the mix so that it feels more coherent.
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Re: [Electronic Pop] My latest song – feedback much appreciated

Postby The Elf » Mon Nov 14, 2016 8:46 am

A lot of it has been said above - the shy vocal and lack of deep bass are the most obvious features.

I really like what you have going on. There are some great sounds and supporting melodic ideas. But... the entire song sounds like a first verse, veiled and cautious. There's no magical 'arrived' moment, where the song kicks in and makes our feet tap. If you aspire to this being a pop song, then this really needs sorting out before any technical consideration. It will require a significant re-think of the song's structure, and the careful construction of a strong chorus, but it would be worth it based on what you have here so far.

I also think you need to recruit a vocalist who can carry the song with confidence.

Hope that's of use. :thumbup:
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Re: [Electronic Pop] My latest song – feedback much appreciated

Postby markusrothko » Tue Nov 22, 2016 10:28 am

Thanks SO much for the feedback peeps! I'm gonna go back to the drawing board and see what I can do. Will keep you posted when there is a new version. And to those of you who wanted feedback from me on your stuff, I'll look into it as soon as I have the time. Just a bit swamped with work in college atm.

Cheers!
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