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[pariah223]

I dont know why, but ive spent my entire musical life afraid to show people my music.. wether it be fear of failure or people not liking it.. ive always written music, showed it to a handful of the same friends/family.. then filed it away. I recently finished a piece.. it is a simple acoustic song but im proud of it and decides to try and share it in hopes that maybe i will break some kind of wall down ive built up over the years. Anyway, enjoy and any notes, good or bad are welcome!.

https://soundcloud.com/rvenneri/close-2

[alexis]

I thought it was great! Love the voice, and love the guitar playing. Same with the vibe and the picture painted by all the above.

I'm listening on my mobile phone. Only suggestion I might have is to improve the intelligibility of the lyrics. There were many I couldn't understand, from the ones I could, I can only imagine the song would have been even more powerful.

Great job!

[awjoe]

I dont know why, but ive spent my entire musical life afraid to show people my music.. wether it be fear of failure or people not liking it.. ive always written music, showed it to a handful of the same friends/family.. then filed it away. I recently finished a piece.. it is a simple acoustic song but im proud of it and decides to try and share it in hopes that maybe i will break some kind of wall down ive built up over the years. Anyway, enjoy and any notes, good or bad are welcome!.

https://soundcloud.com/rvenneri/close-2

a) disingenuous

b) stupid

Pick one.

Really nice tune.

[shufflebeat]

Sounds fine.

The guitar work has a lovely feel but needs to feature in it's own space, directly behind the vocal it distracts from the lyrics, both a good thing because it's attractive but bad because it hogs the limelight.

Whether the rest of the world needs/deserves to hear it depends on your intentions, I have bits that are more personal diary than public statement so they stay in my head or hard drive, no one knows or cares.

This style is not my natural habitat but as far as quality goes this is very respectable, well done.

[pariah223]

Thank you for the comments. When you say the guitar needs its own space are you referring to panning and eq, or composition? That is a very helpful piece of advice and i would like to understand it more:)

[blinddrew]

Nice set of tunes, nothing to hide and plenty to feel proud of.

[BJG145]

Sounds good. I'd agree that the guitar subtly dominates the mix. I think a bit of stereo separation might help; sounds like they're both pretty central, and the voice seems to have had some of the body/warmth EQd out of it, allowing the guitar to grab that. Perhaps a subtle readjustment of the relative levels might also help push the vocal.

But, yeah, good job, keep going...:-)

[artzmusic]

Well done. From a songwriting perspective, the melody lines are good. The repeating guitar motif is well done too- it adds the "signature lick' that bonds the song together. So high marks.

Can I throw out some ideas, working with what you have?

Production wise perhaps the guitar line is overdone, that is, it could drop out for a verse and the vocals exist alongside just a bass line for effect, then bring the guitar back in, as one example.

Harmonies on selected notes or phrases would be welcome, as well as doubling the vocals (or octave) on the hook phrases.

You have a great voice and good guitar playing so get a gig where you can play every week and build up your confidence even if just for tips. Enjoyed it very much.

Rick

[shufflebeat]

When you say the guitar needs its own space are you referring to panning and eq, or composition?

Yes.

It's really a comment on dynamics and can be addressed in a variety of ways, including those you suggest.

Paring back the playing to something more sparse under the vocal would leave the option of kicking into the riff when required.

Putting the guitar in a "room" would bracket the tone as apart from the vocal, but maybe it's nice to keep them in the same space, artistic decision.

Compression on the guitar triggered by the vocal a side chain would momentarily place it further behind when the vocal is active - possibly subtle but effective.

All handy options, many more exist. If you haven't done already hunt out Mike Senior's book "Mixing Secrets for the Small Studio" (or something like that). It's Christmas and he needs the money. In fact, buy two, your first copy will wear out eventually.

[SilverBeat]

That never really goes away

[paul tha other]

good sounding guitar there...nice song... get yourself out there dude...ive been playing live for years now and i still get nervous before each gig...its never gone away.. still do the gig...still shit myself for about a hour or two before it ..once i make it through the first song im ok...then i enjoy the rest of the gig

as for not being good enough..i dont think you need to worry to much about that

I thought it was great. You obviously know what you're doing!

Wouldn't alter a thing tbh. Cracking song.

[wdsteele]

Likewise; the emotion conveyed is masterful , that's what engages the listener , brilliant !

[Dr. Duce]

Enjoyed your work. It is great that you have taken the chance to share your music with complete strangers which was your initial issue. Now that you have taken the plunge and received such positive and supportive feedback it is time you keep up the momentum and share your creations with the world. It gets easier the more you share.
Good luck.
:thumbup:

[pavolovs chickens]

This was great. Thanks for sharing.

Next step is to start playing in front of other people :)

[pariah223]

Thanks for all the great feedback! Ive since had one of my songs submitted to a local radio station in woodstock NY and they played it! Starting to feel like maybe i CAN do this!. Working on a couple more at the moment but real life gets in the way too often so it takes longer than i like.. now i just have to find a way to make music real life instead of the daily grind:).

[DYATHON]

I like this track and I can listen for hours . Great work , I like the guitar line but I want a piano solo :D

[Exalted Wombat]

Nicely done.

33 seconds is too long to wait for the song to start. If you want to show off your guitar playing save it for a break later on.

[Folderol]

Well, I finally got around to listening to these. I don't know enough to comment on technicalities, but as a fellow 'traveller' I found them to be very enjoyable listening. :thumbup:

[Airfix]

It helps to bounce off someone - knocks the corners off the tune - so to speak. Working on ones own is harder - harder to know ..